If thats the case for you, heres what might be going awry.
This strategy tends to backfire.
Talking about sex is hard.
Talking about sex in the bedroomespecially right after sex!is even harder.
It can feel too vulnerable and too easy to get defensive.
Id recommend opening up a conversation when the two of you are relaxed and outside of the bedroom.
You dont want to demand, cajole, or pressure your partner into doing things for you.
Youll probably get met with resistance if youre too bossy.
Ask questions like, how does that sound to you?
Youve got to be like Goldilocks and get it just right!
You may need to be way more direct than you ever have before.
Or your partner may be the kind of person who needs details to make it follow through.
Ensure that your partner understands by asking questions like, does that make sense to you?
Unfortunately, thats just not how sex works in the real world.
You put a lot of pressure on your partner when you dont fully describe what you want.
Have you been neglecting or ignoring any oftheirrequests?
Are you being generous and giving?
or is this something youre willing to do for me?
Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist (#78931) specializing in sex therapy.
Its her mission to take the intimidation out of sex therapy and bring the fun back into the bedroom.
Have questions about sex?
you might reach her at[email protected], or at VMTherapy.com.
