Despite our best efforts to learn, our brains fight us every step of the way.
We don’t like to feel bad, so we find ways to skirt around the truth.
A good example of this is “Buyer’s Stockholm Syndrome,” or post-purchase rationalization.
Remember that thing you bought that cost a ton of money and you never really used?
The same thing happens in your brain when you make other kinds of mistakes.
You skip going to the gym because you tell yourself that you need a rest day.
Your project failed because the idea was so ahead of its time.
This key in of thinking can come to us naturally because we don’t want to feel bad.
Everybody does, a lot.
It’s like a math equation where you are the variable.
If you don’t change what you’re doing, you’ll always get the same answer.
Sometimes we convince ourselves that certain outcomes are just the product of outside factors.
This is similar to another cognitive bias known as thegambler’s fallacy.
Of course not, because the odds are the same every time and it’s completely random.
You could flip the coin infinitely and never get heads once.
This key in of thinking occurs all the time.
Say you had an assignment at work that you turned in late.
You get chewed out for it, but you chalk it up to an abnormally busy week.
Is it the same as gambling?
No, but it’s the same concept.
You’re assuming that it will be different next timejust because.
Or:
“Next week, things will be better.
Next week, that coin will finally land on heads.”
It won’t, though.
At least, there’s no guarantee that it will.
Get started earlier, stop wasting time on the internet, or get help if you need it.
Grab the coin midair and place it heads up.
Your mistakes don’t fix themselvesyou do.
you’re free to’t learn a lesson without the material!
For example, you might have the unfortunate habit of never being able to wake up on time.
Don’t assume that the first issue you come across is the true culprit.
Line up your suspects and confirm yougo over all of the evidence.
Write it down or draw it out like a flow chart if you have to.
Look at the flow of events and ask yourself questions that can narrow things down.
Here are some examples:
What was the probable sequence of events?
Were their multiple small mistakes that led to a larger one?
Were there any erroneous assumptions made?
Was I trying to solve the right problem?
What would I do differently in the exact same situation?
Lastly,ask yourself if you were attempting the impossible.
If so, what happened actually wasn’t a mistake at all.
We also let time get the best of us.
In fact, it may not even be possible to recognize mistakes until some time has passed.
If that’s the case, you gotta ask for some help.
If you disagree, keep it to yourself.
They are doing you a huge favor by breaking social norms and being honest with you.
If you don’t think their perspective is valid, just set it aside
.
What may seem irrelevant today might be very useful a year from now.
Remember, it’s not weak to ask for help.
If you don’t feel comfortable getting the perspective of others, try toadjust your own perspective.
Look at your problem from multiple angles, or pretend that it wasn’t your mistake to begin with.
So what do we do instead?
We bitch and moan about how much we suck and complain about hownothing ever goes as planned.
Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a slap in the face for us to realize it.
That doesn’t mean you have to wait for that slap to come, though.
it’s possible for you to catch it and slap yourself.
You don’t need to get down on yourself when you drop the ball.
You just make yourself feel bad and it snowballs until you don’t believe you could do anything right.
Your perception of the worldreally is malleableand you have the ability alter your outlook andtry.
The only one in your way is you.
That’s what life is: trying.
Relish them and find a way to make learning from them fun.
Your mistakes will become commodities in no time.
