Knowing about the infidelity of a friends significant other can be the most awkward situation ever.
If you think (or know) your friend isbeing cheated on, here are some things to consider.
), but many people believe it isnt their place to tell.
The problem is, doing the right thing can be handled poorly.
Keep in mind that youre not a bad friend for carefully weighing all of your options here.
Separate yourself from the people involved and give yourself some time to think about things.
The first thing you want to consider is how close you are to the person that was cheated on.
They may be your friend, but what does that really mean?
Are they a co-worker, a gym acquaintance, a friend of a friend?
How often are you around them in a social or personal way?
Dont inject yourself into a situation that you dont belong in.
Its not your responsibility.
The second thing you oughta do is verify you are absolutely positive that someone is actually getting cheated on.
Get your facts straight and check that that you are certain before you do anything.
You might want to consider the inner workings of their relationship as well.
Marin explains:
Dont make any assumptions about your friends relationship.
Lots of people have arrangements with their partners that they dont choose to share with other people.
They may be monogamish.
It may be something that theyve arranged consensually.
Remember, you arent a part of their relationship.
As you decide what you should do, definitelyconsider the possibility that everyone already knows whats going on.
Lastly, you have to take the humiliation factor into account.
When you get cheated on, you feel foolish for having put so much trust in someone.
Its incredibly painful, and knowing that others are aware of it all is even more painful.
It might seem like there is an obvious answer to that question, but really think about it.
How do they react to bad news normally?
Do they prefer to have the bandage ripped off or peeled away?
Imagine how theyre going to react and consider your approach accordingly.
Its also the safest option if you are not 110% positive that anything actually happened.
If you blow the whistle, you could be ending a relationshipthat might have otherwise survived.
Your friend is inevitably going to ask when did this happen or how long have you known?
Things will not go well for anyone if you wait too long, so it pays to be quick.
Still, the way you actually say it is important too.
Bring attention to what happened, but try not to sound judgemental.
They may surprise you with a yeah, I know, and they may not.
If they were unaware of what happened, they will probably be a little shocked and upset.
In fact, they may not even believe you, and they might get mad at you.
Of course, theres the fact that they have a not-so-secret crush on K complicating the matters.
Think about how the situation might look to them before you tell them.
Do you have any feelings at all for them?
Its a good idea to take a third-person view of all the puzzle pieces before you jump in.
Its also important to empathize with your friend when you tell them.
You might not believe it either if it happened to you; and you might be just as angry.
If they want your support, give it to them (even if theyre being a little mean).
Show that yousupport them no matter what they decide.
you could help your friend and avoid becoming a casualty of love.
Illustration by Tara Jacoby.
