Although shame and guilt may seem similar, shame is highly correlated with addiction, depression, and aggression.
In contrast, guilt is linked to empathy and understanding other perspectives.
What’s the difference?
Shame is, “I am bad.”
Guilt is, “I did something bad.”
I made a mistake?"
How many of you would be willing to say that?
Guilt: I’m sorry.
I made a mistake.
Shame: I’m sorry.
I am a mistake.
But it’s not just a petty matter of semantics.
Here’s what you even need to know more: Guilt is inversely correlated with those things.
It’s uncomfortable, but it’s adaptive.
Clinical psychologist Mary C. Lamiaexplained in Psychology Todaythat bullies are particularly shame-prone.
She wrote, “That means they are afraid their failures or shortcomings will be exposed.
The solution isn’t to get rid of shame.
Shame is natural, and comes with our human relationships.
However, we’ve been taught, “Never let them see you sweat.”
Brown says the solution is to do the opposite: Be vulnerable.
One study found that shame was linked to personal distress, whereas guilt was linked to perspective taking.
We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t make us failures.
Listening to Shame| TED Talks viaFarnam Street
