This post originally appeared onStartupBros.
What is impostor syndrome?
It’s feeling like an impostor when you’re not.
Like you’re a fraud and the whole world is going to find you out.
This makes total sense for undercover agents and people selling snake oil.
Oh God, they’re on to me!
I’m a fraud!'
Tina Fey
“There are an awful lot of people out there who think I’m an expert.
How do these people believe all this about me?
I’m so much aware of all the things I don’t know.”
It’s Impostor Syndrome, something my wife Amanda christened the Fraud Police."
I’m a fraud."
I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'
Seth Godin wrote inThe Icarus Deceptionthat after a dozen best sellers hestillfeels like a fraud all the time.
You think you should probably be perfect but you also need to feel free to fail.
it’s crucial that you be yourself and more!
Trying to be sincere while being self-conscious of how you present yourself can make you feel like a fraud.
Come off it.Usually I feel like a fraud when I think I’m more important than I am.
When you feel like a fraud it’s in relation to some perfection that never actually existed.
We were given an opportunity that others weren’t.
And so nothing we achieve after that opportunity was actually deserved.
John D. Rockefellar’s oldest son felt that strongly.
His entire life’s work was giving away money that his dad made.
Can you imagine the intense impostor syndrome he must have felt?
There are plenty of people born with a silver spoon that still manage to fuck up.
They were given every opportunity and never could take advantage of them.
Opportunities come to those who expose themselves to them.
It’s not all “fair,” not at all.
But youdiddo something to get where you are.
Focus on providing value.I feel like a fraud when I’m concerned about myself.
This is hard because what if they hate you for it?
What if they make fun of you for trying to help?
What if your sincerity is smashed under the laughter of others?
Not nearly as bad as it hurts to feel like a shell of yourself though.
I remember thefirst timeI wrote vulnerably.
I had gone through severe depression and had benefitted from reading about others being depressed.
I felt obligated to share my story.
Not one person made fun of me for that.
At least to my face.
Every time someone writes that I helped them online I take a screenshot and put it in my folder.
When I feel like a fraud I can go look through the stories of people I have helped.
There are a whole series of entrepreneurs who started businesses because of articles I’ve written.
There are successful entrepreneurs that were reinvigorated by something I wrote.
Those things keep me putting stuff out there.
Because, honestly, it’s easy to forget that writing can do any good.
Collect your wins, testimonials, whatever and then visit them when you’re feeling like a fraud.
Stop comparing yourself tothatperson.There’s no good reason for you to be reading what I’m writing.
There are world class biographies of Warren Buffett, John D. Rockefeller, and Einstein.
James Altucher has had more successes than me.
Peter Thiel just wrote a book.
Tim Ferriss, Paul Graham, Kevin Kelly… these guys blog!
But still, I’m writing this because I think I have something to offer.
Actually, when I look at my praise file I haveproofthat I have something to offer.
You might as well not even do anything!
Your life isn’t the best life!
Emerson said, “Envy is ignorance…” and he was right on.
You aren’t here to live the life of another person.
You’re here to do whatever life you’ve got the option to.
You’re not a fraud, you’re just you.
Or maybe it’s just that you think you are a freak.
You are not nearly as much of a freak as you think you are.
Again, come off it, you’re just not that special.
Try this: write for 30 minutes the most insane things about yourself.
You will never show anybody this.
Write your most ridiculous beliefs, your most terrible thoughts, your biggest fraud!
Just write gibberish if you think that is crazy.
Push into the deepest taboos you hold.
Alternatively, try stream-of-conscious writing.
Write for 30 minutes nonstop.
you might’t put your pen down.
This will constantly put you in touch with what’s going on inside yourself.
Treat the thing as a business or experiment.Today there is a whole slew of artist-entrepreneurs.
We call part of what we do “content creation.”
There has never been a time in history where so many people have a voice.
No wonder we’re all suffering from impostor syndrome.
Start treating your art as a business.
In a business, if a product doesn’t sell, you stop making it.
The best traderslose moneyon most trades.
Presidents are wrong about stuff all the time.
The best football teams inevitably lose.
Losing is just part of the game.
“Nobody Belongs Here More Than You.
Why do we feel we don’t deserve to be in the game?
Because we haven’t won it yet?
We haven’t even tried!
Break people down into what they are: expiring meat sacks.
We are all going to die, we just take different routes to get there.
One of the most attractive qualities in a person is acceptance.
Acceptance of themselves and acceptance of you.
Maybe you’re able to’t shake thefeelingthat you’re a fraud.
Youcanforce yourself to move forward despite the feeling.
Your stunted expression means that you’ve got the option to’t be there for people who need you.
Say what youcan.We are often put in the position of “expert.”
When this happens, people look at you like you should knoweverythingabout a topic.
We can’t know everything abouteverythingthough.
If I’m in a situation where there is potential toactuallybe a fraudi.e.
People respect this much more.
Admit that you don’t yet have the answer but you’ll find it.
Realize that nobody knows what they’re doing.Most startups fail.
Even the ones that you hear about raising millions of dollars fail all the time.
Nobody knows exactly what’s going on.
There are a ton of people who will tell you they know the answers.
These people are liars.
You’re not an impostor for trying something that might not work.
Realize that you are not a constant.You’re constantly changing.
You’re constantly becoming a new person.
Your opinions change with new information (I hope).
You spend six months eating donuts and then you spend six months at the gym.
Last year you were obsessed with Call of Duty, now you don’t understand video games.
Maybe you were in a terrible mood this morning.
Maybe you’re a bit brighter now.
“There is as much difference between us an ourselves as there is between us and others.”
Michel de Montaigne
You are growing into something different.
You are getting better.
By trying to do something better than you actually can.
That’s not a lie, that’s valor.
Authenticity is a hoax.What is being authentic?
I’m not even going to emphasize the same interests I have.
You represent yourself differently to different people all the time, without being dishonest.
There is no person it’s possible for you to be other than you.
The impostor syndrome will have you believe that you are being inauthentic, or that you are a liar.
If that’s true then where is your true self?
The impostor syndrome doesn’t give an answer because it doesn’t have one.
See credentials for what they are.They don’t mean much.
“Expert” means someone decided to call them that.
(And they likely do knowwaymore than you about some very specific topic, of course.)
Don’t measure yourself by credentials.
Find one person to whom it’s possible for you to say, “I feel like a fraud.
“Being able to say that out loud to another person can be a huge help.
Especially when they laugh at you for itand then acknowledge that they feel the same way.
Realize that faking things actually does work.Sometimes faking it doesn’t make you a fraud.
If you smile, your body will be more generous with happy chemicals and actually make you happier.
When you were a baby you tried to walk and fell down every time.
Were you a walking impostor?
Who areyouto walk!?
you could’t even do it!
Silicon Valley has been built by people trying to do things thatprobablyweren’t going to work.
We need them to keep trying.
We need you to keep trying.
Whether you feel like an impostor or not.
21 Proven Ways To Overcome Impostor Syndrome| StartupBros
Kyle Eschenroeder is an entrepreneur atStartupBrosin St. Petersburg, FL.
Find him onFacebook,Google+, andTwitter.
Image adapted fromOpenClips(Pixabay) andMega Pixel(Shutterstock).
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