Nothing could be further from the truth.
If sex is ever uncomfortable for you, here are some better ideas for what to do.
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Theres not enough lubrication.
One of the most straightforward causes of sexual pain is not being adequately lubricated.
One of my clients once described sex as feeling like her partner was sandpapering her vaginal walls.
Sex is not supposed to feel like that!
Anxiety can make your whole body, including your pelvic muscles, tense up.
Ive worked with clients who experienced sexual anxiety due to past sexual abuse.
Others have had fears about pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, penetration, or even pain itself.
There are two types of vaginismus: primary and secondary.
Primary shows up when a woman hasneverbeen able to have penetrative intercourse without pain.
Vulvodynia is experienced as a burning, aching, or irritated sensation.
Sexual pain is no joke.
Give yourself permission to ask for and take up all the time you need.
Try not to have any sort of penetration until youre actively craving it.
Lube is one of the easiest ways to make sex less painful and more pleasurable.
Its also a non-negotiable for anal sex.
Lets just put it this way: sex without lube is like using a Slip N Slide without water.
Ive heard way too many women say that they should be able to get wet enough on their own.
To them, resorting to using lube feels like admitting defeat.
Especially if it could help reduce or eliminate your sexual pain!
When one finger is moving in and out with ease, switch to two fingers.
Work your way up to four before penetrating with a sex toy or penis.
Some sexual pain is due to partners that end up hitting the cervix.
If your partner is particularly well-endowed, full penetration may not be possible.
Most of us get distracted during sex, so these types of breaks can help you get re-centered.
you’re free to develop greater familiarity with and control over your PC muscles with exercise.
To exercise your PC muscles, pulse them 20 times in a row.
Then practice squeezing, holding for a few seconds, and releasing.
Go through this routine 1-3 times a day.
make a run at get to the place in between squeezing up and bearing down.
It might even help to visualize the muscles being nice and soft.
Here are some to consider.
Up until very recently, most sexual pain conditions were considered psychosomatic.
Its worth meeting with your OB/GYN and your GP.
PT can be life-changing for so many women!
Go to Psychotherapy
Lets face it - being in pain during sexsucks.
The physical aspect of the pain can be excruciating, but the mental consequences can be just as horrific.
Its really important to have someone you’re able to talk to about the emotional challenges youre facing.
Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist (#78931) specializing in sex therapy.
Its her mission to take the intimidation out of sex therapy and bring the fun back into the bedroom.
Have questions about sex?
you could reach her at[email protected], or at VMTherapy.com.
