Weve told youhow to survive a party as an introvert.
But even extroverts can find parties challenging if they dont know anyone.
How do you mingle?
How do you fit in?
For shy people, introverted or extroverted, this scenario can be a nightmare.
It might not even be a party.
Here are a few tips and methods to help ease the anxietyand maybe even have a little fun.
Once you arrive, find the host, and offer your help.
Its a polite gesture, and it gives you something to do.
Ask to chop some veggies, plate some food, or play bartender.
Thought Catalog alsosuggests bringing something that needs to be prepared.
This automatically gives you something to do once you arrive.
It might even be a good ice breaker; people may wonder what youve brought.
But you may be surprised at how people respond when youre open about your vulnerability instead.
Find another shy, solo guest and laugh about the fact that neither of you know anyone.
From there, the conversation naturally progressed.
This made it a lot easier to mingle with other people, too, because we did it together.
On the other hand, it might be easier to approach an outgoing person.
(Youve just made it easier for one of them to exit.)
Either way, theyre relieved to see you.
Itsa tactic weve mentioned before, and, obviously, your mileage will vary.
Everyones personality is different, and the throw in of party or event might matter, too.
Whichever you choose, it helps to be open about the fact that you dont know anyone.
Other guests will usually feel more inclined to include you.
Its a social gathering, after all.
Try the Wait and Hover Technique
Sometimes its hard to break into a conversation.
Bernardo J. Carducci of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast, recommends the Wait and Hover technique.
It sounds pretty obvious, butWebMD explains how it works:
Get on the periphery and listen.
For example: You got mugged in Miami?
That happened to me too!
What if you get the dreaded blank stares?
They may just need time to finish what they were saying.
This is another technique I tried at a recent networking event, where I knew no one.
I hovered near a small art display and waited for people to walk by and talk about it.
When they did, I subtly made my way into the conversation.
You feel slightly creepy at first, so see to it your input comes naturally.
The whole thing was very natural.
If youre helping the host prep food, you could interject in a nearby conversation.
Do the same while youre grabbing a drink or getting a snack.
Brush Up on Your Conversational Skills
We can all pretty much agree: small talk is boring.
But its also necessary.
You dont usually go from 0 to 70 with a stranger.
To get a decent conversation started, you need a little revving up.
You need an ice breaker.
ensure its an open-ended question that cant be answered with a simple yes or no.
Or, if itcanbe answered with a simple yes or no, verify it allows for a follow-up.
Compliments: When you compliment someone, theyll often compliment you back, and this gets a conversation going.
you’ve got the option to also ask a question after the compliment.
Whered you get them?
Occasion, Location: Use the Occasion, Location rule to kickstart a conversation.
Ask about the occasion or the location of the event.
You probably dont want to go with the cliche, come here often?
But have you ever been here?
How do you know the host is always a good one, too.
If you want more specific opening statements, check out these10 great conversation starters.
Readers have alsoshared some of their favorite ice breakers here.
After that initial ice breaker, it might be time toelevate the small talk to medium talk.
Latch onto it and dive a little deeper.
If someone asks what do you do?, for example, come up with a specific answer.
Maybe its a story about your job or an example of what you do on a day-to-day basis.
If someone asks, How do you know the host?
you might tell a funny anecdote about how you met.
This gives the conversation more room to progress than the expected, we went to college together.
After youve got the conversation going,confirm not to kill it.
This keeps the conversation enjoyable and simpatico.
Ask getting-to-know you questions: Its important to ask the right questions.
Take a genuine interest in learning about the person.
If the other person hasnt said anything in a while, its time to stop and check yourself.
If someone feels theyre in a one-way conversation, theyre probably thinking about how to bail.
But the more awkward you feel, the more nervous you become.
It helps to remember theres no spotlight on you.
Its like a big-freaking-deal in your world.
Maybe its the World Domination Summit or SXSW.
Whatever it is, youre excited, nervous and totally self-conscious.
You wonder what everyone will think of you.
Maybe theyll think youre lame.
Maybe theyll find out that youre not really an expert and have no business teaching what youre teaching.
Youll be found out.
Or worse, no one will talk to you at all.
But have you ever noticed that everyone else is busy thinking about themselves?
As weve mentioned, this is a really liberating way of looking at the situation.
It applies well to life as a whole, but its also great advice for a party.
Going to a party or event alone sounds intimidating, but it doesnt have to be.
Prepare yourself with a few methods for starting a conversation, and youll be fine.
Once you find just one person to talk to, the whole situation becomes a lot easier.
After a while, you may even forget about how awkward you felt.
Images by Adam Dachis,Lars Plougmann,worldwaterweek,CPBAC,CPBAC,Angela Antunes.
