Depression can make your partner seem distant.
They may feel like theyre a burden or close themselves off.
None of that means your relationship is the problem.
You two can tackle this together.
As Ive discussed before,I struggled with depression for years.
That didnt stop me from trying to have relationships, but it affected each one differently.
The good news is, its not hopeless.
A depressed partner can cause stress in a relationship.
Depression isnt the first problem couples have had, and it wont be the last.
Just like any other problem, you canseek therapy togetherand work through your problems.
Here are some of the ways to do just that.
If your partner seems to have lost interest in these essential elements of a relationship, it can hurt.
If your relationship is good, you both should be positive!
You should be trying new things!
You should have active social lives with other people!
You should have sex regularly!
What other couples see as warning signs are your normal routine.
Those things may be warning signs, but theyre not necessarily about you.
With depression, the problem is hidden.
Its easier to assume that youre the cause because theres nothing obvious to point your finger at.
Its even harder to not wonder if you did something to make your loved one depressed.
people who know the real you.
Being with strangers can sometimes be easier for them: they get to put on a show.
They get to pretend that they arent depressed for a short amount of time.
If your loved one is acting depressed around you, its a good sign- in a strange way.
It means that they love and trust you enough to share this with you.
Sometimes they have a go at hide it- sometimes theyll push you away.
The only thing to do is just be there.
Even in a healthy relationship, you cant make someone elses emotional well-being your sole responsibility.
Those are certainly problems that need to be dealt with.
Depression is no different.
Supportive, loving relationships can actually bea huge benefit to someone suffering from depression.
However, that only works if youre both working together to deal with it constructively.
In one approach, a mental health professional enlists the partner as a co-therapist.
With training, the partner can assist the patient with homework assigned by the therapist.
Set timelines and goals for yourself so you know what youre working towards.
Its also important in this phase not toforcetreatment on your partner.
you’re free to assist and support, but you cant coerce your partner to do anything.
Like, teaching a cat to fingerpaint messy.
Of course, if youredatingsomeone whos dealing with depression, you dont see that internal dialogue.
Thats fine in general, but its also important to recognize that bad days are going to happen.
A single bad day doesnt mean the end of the world.
The nature of depression is that it overrides the normal, expected function of your emotions.
Happy things dont make you happy, exciting things dont make you excited.
Theres no getting around that.
That doesnt mean its not worth it, but it can be a danger to your own well-being.
You cant help your partner if youre too overwhelmed to function.
Of course you want to help, but you’re able to only do so much.
Your own health will suffer if you let your life be controlled by your loved ones depression.
You cant be a caretaker round the clock without paying a psychological price.
To avoid burnout and resentment, set clear limits on what you are willing and able to do.
You are not your loved ones therapist, so dont take on that responsibility.
This also includes letting your partner know whenyoureunhappy.
When your partner is depressed, its very easy to be afraid to mention when somethings onyourmind.
Photos byHyperbole and a HalfandAntoine K.
