Here are four of the biggest things to look for in a toxic relationship.
Let’s look a bit more deeply at each.
Nerlove explains:
It needn’t be as dramatic as fights over having children or how many.
.Where are the two of you going to live: the big city?
A house in the middle of nowhere?
Or worse: half-way around the globe?
It’s tough to find someone whose goals align perfectly with your own.
Be flexible, butkeep in mind the things you won’t negotiate on.
If not, you two might not be meant for one another.
Communicate and propose working on this together.
Perhaps they cheated, invaded your privacy, or shared your secrets with their friends.
It’s easy to say “forgive and forget”, but it isn’t so simple.
Part of that is letting go of the past.
Then, work to reach a clear compromise, and move forward holding true to that compromise.
The more open and non-defensive they are, the more likely it is that there will be resolution.
When both partners are committed to this as an outcome, the likelihood increases exponentially.
take a stab at be objective and observe the changes your partner is making.
Your Partner is Abusive
Let’s be clear: There’s physical abuse, and emotional abuse.
In both cases, you should get out right away.
Often the two collide, but not always.
They might just be plain mean or condescending.
An abusive partner will convince you that you’re something you’re not.
Either way, if they attack you physically or emotionally, the shoe here fits.
Settling in a relationship with an abuser never has a happy ending.
Then you know you’ve given the relationship a shot with therapy, forgiveness, and patience.
If it’s not working, or heaven forbid, you’re in danger, cut ties.
You’ll be much happier elsewhere.
Turn to local resources as well.
These are just a few of the many things that pose serious threats to relationships.
Have I done my part, and given my partner a fair shot to do theirs?
Have we exhausted all options for improving, and things just aren’t working?
Sometimes people get so tied up in their relationship that they forget about their own personal development.
Photos byVic,L’oeil etranger,Kate Ter HaarandRobert Vitulano.
