If youre hell bent on doing it anyway, we can help.
That being said, there are some strategies for making the most out of the experience.
Do Your Research
Sex on the beach is usually not something you do spontaneously.
It requires a bit of recon work beforehand.
The first thing youll want to do is scope out potential locations to do the deed.
Look for private little coves or large rocks.
it’s possible for you to even useGoogle Mapsto find nooks you might not otherwise have noticed.
Getting slapped with a fine for public indecency is one thing;getting arrestedis another.
Come Prepared
Youll need a couple of items to do this right.
The bigger the blanket the better.
If you really want privacy, look into aportable shade structure.
Bring a packet of tissues for clean-up afterwards.
Pick out an easy-access outfit beforehand too.
Women can wear a beachy sundress or a flowy skirt.
Guys should wear shorts or a bathing suit that allows you to pull your junk out easily.
(Dancing and trying to wake him up?
In fact, read that article, then do the complete opposite of what those two did.
Dont do it in the middle of the day.
Dont do it with people - especially kids - nearby.
Dont take your sweet ass time.
Dont ignore the elderly lady cleary filming you.
Dont do ittwice, you greedy bastards!
Wait until dusk at the very least.
The beach should be deserted.
Enjoy yourselves, but keep an eye and an ear out for passersby.
Keep your voices down, and try not to moan audibly.
Maybe go on a romantic weekend getaway and rent an AirBnB that has a private strip of beach.
Or get a waterside hotel that has a private balcony overlooking the ocean and enjoy your view.
Youll get the beach-sex experience without many of the risks.
In reality, having your exposed genitals anywhere near the sand is a recipe for disaster.
The only successful beach sex occurs is in positions where your crotches are up in the air.
Arguably the best beach sex positions is Doggystyle.
If youre confident in your blankets sand-blocking abilities, receiving partner on top is a possibility.
Ocean sex has its own set of benefits and drawbacks.
Anal is going to be a no-go.
Its also not advisable to use condoms underwater, so your STI risk is higher.
You also wont have any of leverage for thrusting, so sex will be pretty tame.
Keep in mind that having beach sex doesnt need to mean having beach intercourse.
you’re able to easily give each other handies in the water.
Oral sex can be concealed with a blanket or under an umbrella.
Just remember kids, keep an eye out for those grandmas with cell phones!
Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist (#78931) specializing in sex therapy.
Its her mission to take the intimidation out of sex therapy and bring the fun back into the bedroom.
Have questions about sex?
you could reach her at[email protected], or at VMTherapy.com.
Illustration by Jim Cooke.
