Because everything you do or don’t do as a guardian of this child isall your faultforevermore.

That’s what it feels like anyway, sometimes, as a parent.

It comes with the territory of being a parent.

Your kid is allergic to dogs and you have three of them.

You took your kid out to the playground but it’s freezing and you forgot the hat and gloves.

you could’t find the overdue library books.

You missed a recital or a soccer game because of work or maybe other plans.

You’re raising multiple children and can’t give each of them the same attention all the time.

Or you secretly favor one of them.

Your kid has picked up some terrible language or habits, likely from watching you.

(You know they’re always watching you.)

(You just want 10 more minutes in the bath alone!

Or you actually do want to work.

Or you’re tired of playing Skylanders.)

you’ve got the option to’t give everything to your children that your parents gave you.

Your kids subsist on a diet of McNuggets and chocolate milk.

Some weeknights, so do you.

Originally this short list had about twice as many bullets, but you get the point.

Pretty much anything that affects your kids is something you could feel guilty about, warranted or not.

(Pajama day will come again.)

But many of us hold ourselves to higher standards when it comes to parenting than perhaps any other endeavor.

Here are my theories.

Kid got straight A’s in school?

Good job, Mom and Dad!

Didn’t make the honor roll?

Why didn’t you push them harder?

Don’t even get me started on other parents on the playground or in parenting forums.

To do so, you’ll need to consider your past performance and iterate accordingly.

That’s how we model critical thinking and self-reflection for our children.

Admit your own fallibility and be willing to adapt and change.

Here are five steps to try:

1.

Not worth feeling guilty about.

(You’ll remember to put it on your calendar next time.)

Her room and (who am I kidding?)

our house often looks like someone took everything out of the drawers and threw them on the floor.

Just remember as Debra Renner, co-author ofMommy Guilt, writes onParentopia:

Parenting is not about perfection.

We’re not parenting inanimate objects and we’re human too.

Housework is an ideal example.

Put another way: “You do too much as it is.

You’re not Superman, you know.”

(Also, Pinterest lies.

Pause before you react.Some of the worst guilt-inducing moments happen because of our knee-jerk reactions.

(Usually after a long day when we’ve just about had it UP TO HERE with everything.)

Photos byfrankieleon,momastery.