When somebody wrongs youeither by accident or on purposeit can be hard to get over it.
Here are some ways you’ve got the option to work toward forgiving.
Initially you’ll be hit with a lot of emotion, and that’s okay.
In essence: you forgive for yourself, not just for them.
It’s not about letting them off easy, either.
Forgiveness is about resolution for you, and you alone.
You were the one wronged, not them.
You will still remember what happened, but you will no longer be bound by it.
Keep in mind, though, that forgiveness is a process.
Don’t rush the process.
Give yourself space from the event and focus on the present.
Just because your wound heals doesn’t mean you better forgive your adversary right away.
If you want to be angry, scream into your pillow.
If you want to be sad, let out some tears.
Psychologist Anita Sanz at Quora recommends you go as far asnaming your pain.
Name what hurts so you know exactly what you’ll eventually be forgiving.
You may never understand why, but that’s okay.
You don’t have to know why something happened to get to get better.
Keep your focus on what hurts and what you’d eventually like to let go of.
You’re in control here.
So buckle down, scream and shout, and you’ll know when you’re ready.
Remember, we’re all human and we are nowhere near perfect.
Imagine you had done what they have.
Remind yourself how much being forgiven would mean to you.
No one is purely bad, and everyone carries their own pain which influences the decisions they make.
Chances are, you’ve made a mistake at some point and hurt somebody yourself.
In some cases, you would have even done anything to make up for it or be forgiven.
It’s possiblefor some people at leastthat hurting someone feels almost as terrible as being hurt.
Put Your Feelings Down on Paper
Some wrongdoings will take longer than others to overcome.
It could be months or even years before you’re ready to move forward with forgiveness.
Still, you want these thoughts to be directed at who wronged you.
In the privacy of your own home or wherever you feel comfortable, start writing a letter.
It might take you four months like it did for me.
It might take you a week, or even a day.
It depends on how quickly you could work through the pain you have been carrying around.
You don’t even have to send your letter to anyone it is for you.
Put pen to paper and imagine you’re saying everything you couldn’t say to your wrongdoer.
Unfortunately, the old phrase of “forgive and forget” isn’t really beneficial in real life.
Forgiveness is something that is entirely up to you.
Although reconciliation may follow forgiveness, it is possible to forgive without re-establishing or continuing the relationship.
The person you forgive may be deceased or no longer part of your life.
This is the time to be selfish and decide what’s right for you.
Leo Babauta at Zen Habits suggests that you realize thatthe past is overand it isn’t happening anymore.
The only place the past can exist anymore is in your mind.
Keep yourself excited and positive.
Forgiving another person is one of best things you could do for yourself.
Let out whatever emotions you oughta, give yourself time to heal, and unload that baggage.
You still have a long journey ahead and you don’t need that extra weight.
