Flatulence is perfectly natural, but when it happens in public, youd do anything to avoid theembarrassment.

Sometimes evil is justified, and other times, knowing evil means knowing how to beat it.

Check out our evil week tag page.

Perfect Your Crop Dusting Technique

Crop dusting is the act of farting on the move.

Dont linger in the cloud or return to the scene of the crime.

Is that Ukranian food?

If youre on the train, fart and then make your way to the other end of the car.

Leave the gas, take the canoli.

Farting is kind of like murder or organized crime in that way.

Nothing to see here.

Its better to smell overwhelmingly like perfume than fart, right?

Depending on where you are, some places are better to crop dust than others.

Areas around trash cans are also good targets because people expect them to stink already.

Win the Blame Game

If you cant escape, you might have to blame someone else.

The key is to keep your cool, fart as quietly as possible, and follow what P.J.

Quite often, the protestations of the innocent party being blamed only make them look more guilty.

If your patsy starts hanging themselves, just sit back and let them do your job for you.

Once you see they have their faces in disgust, its up to you to react too.

This is your cue.

Slowly, screw up your face and put your index and thumb finger up to your nostrils.

Other great patsies include senior citizens, dogs, or anyone dressed in filthy clothes.

People tend to assume things, so use that to your advantage.

Sometimes you cant keep your farts silent, however.

If you act offended enough, you’re able to pull this off.

The key is commitment and really believing what youre saying.

Everyone is cramped together, nobody is talking, and there is no air flow.

That being said, theres still a way to fart on the sly.

Thefolks at Bubble News recommendone very simple rule: only fart when the door opens.

At that point, do whatJonathan Beck at Quora suggests, and remain silent to maintain plausible deniability.

Everyone will suspect everyone, but no one will know for certain that it was you.

Image by Nick Criscuolo.