You’ve stuck to your diet today and you feel unstoppable…until your co-worker hands you a cupcake.
“It’s just one,” you rationalize, devouring every inch.
Does this sound familiar?
If you have ever dieted, you’ve experienced some variation of this scenario.
Soon afterwards, a few uncomfortable emotions sink in: shame and self-loathing among them.
I have no self-control and feel like crap.
- Me
“You’re not crap.
You’ve been doing great.
- Let’s talk about what happened?
“I told you I ate cupcakes… then pizza…
- I had maybe three days worth of calo…
“I mean what was the trigger?
- What were your thoughts at the time?
“I don’t understand.
What do you mean?
If the dieter had practicedmindfulness, however, this would not have happened.
Understanding Mindfulness
Mindfulnessis theintentional act of being present and focusing your awareness, objectively and without judgement.
Here’s a quick mindfulness exercise: Clear your mind of any thoughts and then breathe deeply.
Focus only on the physical feelings of breathingyour lungs expanding, air exiting your nostrils, and so on.
Other thoughts will pop into your head, but gently bring them back to your breath.
Now, examine your mood without judgement.
What emotions are you feeling?
Perhaps you’re feeling anxious.
If so, it’s natural to immediately shift your thoughts to blame, guilt, or worry.
In this exercise, however, simply acknowledge your feelings of anxiety.
The next time that self-sabotage occurs, ask yourself: how do you feel?
What is your mood leading up to that point?
How does your environment impact your feelings?
It is crucial to do this objectively and without judgment, otherwise you start blaming yourself or others.
Stop Self-Sabotage by Identifying Your Triggers
Self-sabotage always starts with a trigger.
Let’s take binge eating for example.
It’s just one more.”
“You had a great week of dieting, Dick.
Time to celebrate with cake!”
“Dick, you already broke your diet with that one cupcake.
Time for pizza.”
Self-sabotage is never worth it.
Was there ever a time you submitted to a trigger and ended up better for it?
But that’s not true.
You then feltpressureafter being offered a cupcake andguiltafter finishing it.
When these emotions start coming on, examine them objectively, and without judgment.
You may want to write this pattern down for future you.
Rather, it’s aninevitable onecaused by the emotions and events leading up to it.
You cannot control your feelings.
You are responsible, however, for what you do with them.
Determine the root cause behind your emotions.Perhaps you are stressed at work because of a deadline.
Realize that your need to binge eat or drink stems from the deadline.
Figure out what you’re gonna wanna do to fix the root problem.
Focus on how good you will feel the next day after you successfully decoupled your emotions from your actions.
Know that because of this win, you’re less likely to sabotage yourself in the future.
You might fail the first few times that you try this.
If so, that’s ok. Show yourself some compassion.
One of the most powerful feelings is conquering an event usingmindfulness, rather than willpower or self-control.
Images byEric Allix Rogers,Marina, andStefan.
