Here are the things to consider.

It’s the elephant in the room.

It’s also one of the most important, difficult subjects you and your family will ever face.

“or during a holiday visit, when stress and family conflicts are already more likely to arise.

Have a box of tissues on hand.)

Shelly Sun, CEO and Co-founder ofBrightStar Care, offers these tips:

Have the conversation in person.

Video chat, phone, or email won’t provide you with honest emotions or feedback.

Prepare questions in advance so you won’t feel rushed or scrambling to get your thoughts together.

(See below for some questions to ask.)

During the conversation, provide undivided full attention so it won’t seem like you’re forcing an agenda.

Write important points in a notebook to record details and to reference in the future.

Whatever you do, listen.

Okay, so what do you oughta discuss?

The information below could help make this uncomfortable discussion go more smoothly.

Or would their needs be better served by an assisted living residence or a nursing home?

(We’ll explore these options in a minute.)

Do they stock their fridge with healthy foods

Poor hygiene

do they have body odor?

Are they bathing and changing their clothes like they used to?

Are they neglecting their nails and teeth?

Neglecting their home

is it not as clean as you remember?

Also, are they missing appointments or have lots of unopened mail?

Are they losing money, paying bills twice, or hiding money?

Support system

Do they have a strong support system in town to lean on if they need help?

Mobility and driving

Are they still mobile?

Can they get out of bed, up the stairs and into showers without slipping or falling?

Can they still safely drive themselves to the grocery store, doctor appointments, etc…?

For more considerations, see thishelpful senior safety and well-being checklist(PDF) from A Place for Mom.

There are several types of long-term care solutions, ranging from assisted living communities to in-home aid.

Making the best choice depends on your parents' health needs, your resources, and your collective wishes.

Some take Medicaid, but most are privately paid.

Average cost:$205 per day or $6,235 per month.

But there are some very important considerations here.

It’s devastating just thinking about it.

It is unfortunate, but it does happen more often than you think.

(Why is being part of a family so hard??)

Ultimately, your parents' health and needs should influence this decision the most.

Also take into account Social Security, pensions, and any other income.

Do they have enough to cover monthly living expenses and the additional long-term care costs?

Your own savings.It’s tough.

If you have siblings, again, it can be both a more difficult and easier situation.

This will depend on your family dynamic.

In the last years of her life she broke her hip 3 times requiring stays in rehab hospitals.

It would have cleaned out all her money [without] the insurance.

For my mother she had it for a long time, until she was in her early 80’s.

She moved into a life-care place which takes the place of the long-term care.

Knowing this is handled makes a huge difference.

The other side of LTC: It’s a huge expense.

Like other insurance products, it’s about balancing risks.

Forbes recommendsconsidering an annuityinstead.

Bankrate suggestsother alternatives, including using life insurance.

While they can be beneficial, some providers are out to take advantage of families in this delicate situation.

Candi Wingate, president ofCare4Hireadvises:

Be supportive, as your parents will likely grieve through this process.

You and your siblings too may grieve through this process similarly.

Forgive freely as tempers may flare as an expression of grief.

Additionally, the support of friends and extended family members is crucial.