Dear Two Cents,I’m working to get out of debt.

My boyfriend has his finances in order, and he likes to go out a lot.

But I have to live frugally because of my financial goals.

We don’t share our finances, but we do live together.

I don’t want our differences to come between us.

What can we do?

Thanks,

Debt Downer

Dear DD,

“We” is key here.

Here’s how we suggest you get started.

Talk About Money

Money can be a taboo topic.

Couples are often afraid to address each other’s finances.

But, especially when you’re living together, communicating about money is important.

In each situation, open communication was the key.

This will help youavoid conflicts.

Here’s how you should handle these conversations:

Discuss your current financial situation.

Discuss your spending habits.

Talk about your financial goals.

Discover each other’s financial philosophies and accept your differences.

At the same time, Murdough suggests keeping it simple.

You want to open up the channel for future financial talks not flood with information.

In terms of beginning topics, general budgets are a usually good jumping point.

Sharing a future savings goal is also a great way to talk about your future financial plans.

It’s a great opportunity to define and assess your plans!

Once you know where the other person is coming from, consider holdingweekly financial meetingswith your partner.

It doesn’t sound terribly romantic, but it’s good relationship maintenance.

And your boyfriend’s entertainment splurges are probably enticing.

One way to avoid giving into temptation: use a zero-sum budget.

Pay yourself first, then have a home for every cent of your income.

Decide how much you want to put toward each of your financial goals.

Each time you get paid, that’s where your money goes first.

The rest of your paycheck is dedicated to each category of your budget, with not a dollar left.

As our own Eric Ravenscraftput it, this method allows you to be much more intentional with your spending.

And you’ve already made your debt payments, so there’s no “borrowing” from that fund.

Maybe you agree to spend a certain amount each month on entertainment.

But set a limit, and let him know what that limit is.

This way, there aren’t any surprises.

Planning these dates together can be a fun challenge.

Of course, you’ve got the option to always findonline inspirationto get the ideas flowing.

Make Subtle Frugal Suggestions

AtThe Simple Dollar, writer Trent Hamm talks about this same issue.

Instead of a trip to the mall, suggest going to a free museum.

Instead of going out to eat somewhere expensive, propose that you make a romantic dinner at home.

Hamm uses museums as an example.

Explain and clarify the scope of your financial goals and what these goals really mean to you."

It’s okay to do things separately.

At the same time, see to it you spend time together, too.

Of course, we assume he understands this.

These tips also assume your boyfriend is willing to work with you.

If not, that’s a whole other issue.

Sincerely,

Two Cents

Photo byGuian Bolisay.

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