Unfortunately, the more you say them, the more power they have over you.

Here are four phrases you should keep an eye on.

“I’m too lazy.”

It might seem like a humorous, self-deprecating way of brushing off an idea.

Unfortunately, if you keep telling yourself this, you’re going to start believing it.

Constantly admonishing yourself for being too lazy won’t encourage you to make positive changes.

Laziness has its own benefits.

Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."

“Why don’t I want to try this?”

Even simplyknowingthe next step could make you realize that the task wasn’t as daunting as it seems.

Lumping it all under the umbrella term “laziness” makes things seem more permanent than they really are.

“I don’t like them.”

We all have people and things we dislike.

You might dislike someone who wronged you or broke your trust.

You might also dislike someone nearly instantaneously, based on a first impression or quick moment.

It’s important to remember that everything you say and describe is a projection ofyou.

(Note: Yes, my writing is a projection of me.

It’s discomforting that my writing could be analyzed by everybody reading this.

I try not to think about it.)

The next time you come across someone you instantly dislike, ask yourself: “Why?”

Consider these two paths the next time you feel that twinge of dislike.

If it’s something you don’t like about yourself, then acknowledge it.

If you want to work on it,take a stab at reframe it.

Next time you find yourself disliking someone, ask yourself:

“Why do I dislike this person?

Do I envy them or do they remind me of something about myself?”

“What about them do I like?

What can I learn from them?”

Everyone has redeeming qualities, or at the very least,experiences that you might learn from.

The world is small.

“They’re way smarter than me.

I could never do that.”

My friend told me this wistfully in our school cafeteria after an exam.

When you say this, you’ve resigned yourself to never matching that person’s accomplishments.

Remember thatthere are various types of intelligence.

It’s unlikely that someone else is better than you at everysinglething.

Figure out if it’s possible for you to use your gifts and incorporate them into the situation.

The term “smart” is also the result of a “fixed” mindset.

Conversely, there’sthe “growth” mindset, which posits that you could improve with practice.

Shift your mindset to one centered on growth.

Intelligence is malleable, and youcanlearn and improve.

“Who can I learn from to accelerate my growth?”

“What can Idoto compete effectively (or surpass them)?”

“What am I better at than them?

How can I use that asset?”

“What would everyone think?!”

Self-consciousness helps us see ourselves from other people’s perspectives and be more sensitive to other people’s feelings.

you could use it to improve yourself.

Usually, “What would everyone think?!”

Butdo you really care what “everyone” thinks?

you might never truly make everyone happy.

Youshouldbe conscious of what close friends and family think, and what you think of yourself.

With everything going on these days, it’s very likely that acquaintances and strangers will be indifferent.

“Should a social norm stop me from trying this out?

What’s the worst that could happen?

Would this hurt anyone?”

Sometimes thingsaretoo radical or too crazy for you to try.

Social norms exist for a reason.

But, a lot of times things aren’t.

If you find something actually improves your life, you could regret not trying it earlier.

Laziness can be an asset, and you might have more gas in your tank than you think.

The people you dislike are a reflection of you.

it’s possible for you to get “smarter” and become better.

You don’t have to try making everyone happy.

Photos byJordi Bernabeu Farrus,Tobias,Steven Depolo,Kathy, andRobin Corps.