Lets debunk those myths so we can concentrate on what really works.
But it helps to know where that myth comes from.
Still, self-help gurus latched onto the 21 days idea and spread the myth everywhere they could.
So, researchers from the University College of London decided to take a closer look.
Intheir study, they found that habits take a lot longer to form.
Theyre also dependent on the person and the habit.
Which is all to say, theres no magic number and no magic bullet.
Habit forming is a process, not an event on your calendar, so dont treat it like one.
If you dont do that task, you miss crossing out your calendar and the chain is broken.
Of course, Seinfeld isnt the only person to come up with this concept.
It turns out that missing a day occasionally didnt affect the habit formation process.
That doesnt mean this method isnt useful, though.
Tracking progress is good, just dont let missing a day destroy your self-esteem.
Maybe they created a routine in a spreadsheet.
Perhaps they followed the advice of countless famous people.
But like most things in life, theres no magic tip that works for everyone.
But strategies arent universal.
What works for you might not work for me.
Motivation is different too.
Questioners question all expectations, and will meet an expectation only if they believe its justified.
Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations.
Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.
Once you complete the quiz, she deals out a little advice for your motivation bang out.
They resist anything arbitrary or ineffective; they accept direction only from people they respect.
That doesnt sound super helpful on the surface, but its helpful when thinking about habit formation.
I also dont tend to need much in the way of external accountability.
If I want to go on bike rides four days a week, I just go.
I dont need a riding buddy to go with.
Regardless of how you feel about Rubins particular metric, the takeaway is really the same.
This is a great idea, but its not the whole story.
Duhiggs saying that you cant rely on rewards to get that habit to stick.
Its a whole system, which he calls thehabit loop.
For example, lets say you want to stop eating a cookie everyday at lunch.
First, you should probably identify the cue.
Take some time to think about what launches that initial craving.
To figure out what the craving is, Duhigg suggests you start experimenting with rewards.
This can help you figure out how that craving works and replace it with something else.
So, when youre craving that cookie, adjust your reward.
Instead of getting a cookie, go outside and take a break.
Or buy an apple.
Maybe try getting a coffee instead.
Take a few days to collect all this data.
Once you do, youll probably know exactly whats triggering that cookie craving.
The point is that cues are just as important as reward, so dont concentrate solely on the reward.
Find that cue and find a way to work with it as well.
The same goes for forming good habits too.
Want to exercise more?
Illustration by Tara Jacoby.
