After a few years together, its easy to bicker with your partner over mundane stuff.
Heres one simple technique to stop bickering dead in its tracks.
I cant tell you how many pointless arguments Ive overheard from my clients and friends.
Nothing ever feels resolved, and the same topics keep surfacing over and over.
Why Do We Bicker?
If bickering is so harmful, why do couples bicker in the first place?
Sometimes we nitpick because we want that sense of power and control over our partner.
Sometimes we bicker because we dont have the energy for proper communication.
Most couples, however, are fighting about who is right.
Theres an element of perfectionism that has seeped into most couples fights.
Were wasting so much energy bickering about decisions that just dont matter.
A simple trip to the drugstore to buy toothpaste can result in a decision paralysis.
Do we need the whitening?
All of these options cause this meaningless decision to become loaded with importance.
A bottle of wine?)
or the exact right time to leave to get to dinner (7:15?
Were arguing about how many speeds our new blender should have.
Sometimes just stating the obvious is enough to cool you down.
or Does this have any actual consequence in my life?
If thats the case, take a deep breath and keep quiet.
If the answer is yes, ensure you have a specific reason.
From there, ask yourself, is what my partner is proposing a good enough solution?
If it is, go with it without voicing your opinion.
yo note that the key words in that last part aregood enough.
Illustration by Tina Mailhot-Roberge.
