I suck at a lot of things: Trying to get too much done in a day.
Keeping my closet clean.
I give a shot to get better but change is hard no matter how much you want to.
Especially for the things you suck at.
This post originally appeared on theCrew blog.
There are many forces pushing you not to change.
Your brain doesnt want to change.
Your body doesnt want to change.
The world doesnt want to change.
Rarely do I get through three of those things.
My fix was to limit myself to only five things on my to-do list each day.
Five tasks per day sounded reasonable.
Id tell myself, Nice.
You spotted a problem and prescribed specific, manageable actions to improve.
But I only felt better the first couple of days.
Then my list slowly starts getting longer and longer each day.
Within a week, Im left with a list thats 10+ to-do items again.
Every time Id make a run at improve my to-do list behavior, Id cycle through this behavior.
I was getting nowhere.
Today I learned my way of trying to change may actually be another thing I suck at.
Instead of a Degree of Change, Why Not Go a Full 180?
In the post, Derek says thatmost of us fail to change because we dont do enough.
Derek uses a metaphor of bricks on a seesaw to illustrate his perspective.
You might feel a bit better but its not enough to balance you out.
Habits are hard to kill because habits are the path of least resistance.
And our brains always prefer the path of least resistance.
We just follow the habit like a train follows a track.
Have you seen a train trying to change tracks?
The train has to stop.
Move back and forth a bunch of times.
A railroad controller has to switch the track pathway manually.
Eventually, the train reroutes.
This is what habit change is like in our brains.
We need to put all our bricks on the other side of the seesaw, not just one.
Once you do this, it will feel like youre overcompensating.
It will feel like youve swung completely in the other direction.
But really, youre just evening out.
Even if you go extreme, you will still feel the pull of your old way of thinking.
I would get a little bit better but only a tiny bit.
And not enough to change long-term.
Keeping My House Clean at the Level My Wife Expects
My house often feels clean to me.
But my wife often feels differently.
My aim would be to keep the house Ritz-Carlton-clean.
Staying Closer With Friends and Family
I moved to Canada but I grew up in the U.S.
I live far from a lot of my family and friends but they are important to me.
Extreme prescription: Every day Id call at least one friend or family member.
Saying No to More Projects
Sometimes I get excited and start too many projects at once.
It hurts my ability to focus which makes me feel anxious.
So Id like to say no, not now to more ideas.
Extreme prescription: I could say no to every new project idea.
I want to keep improving as a writer and the best way to get there is to write.
I would aim to publish daily.
This is no way to live.
This started with my to-do list.
The extreme solution could be not using a to-do list at all.
Now I want to get better at all these things.
But its too difficult to practice the Extreme Prescription on all five of these things at the same time.
It would require too much willpower.
As many studies show,willpower fatigues easily, especially when there are many temptations.
And there would be many temptations when youre going after an extreme-level of change.
My willpower would probably break down and Id be right back where I started.
So instead, Im starting by going extreme on one thing for a one month period.
So Im choosing one month to go extreme and the second month taking a more balanced approach.
I want to improve this because its the leading cause of stress for me.
My Extreme Prescription is to not use a to-do list.
If I finish that one most important thing, Ill move on to other tasks that are important.
You probably want to get better at something.
And its great when we take actions to try and improve.
But we put a lot of negative energy on ourselves when we dont get better after weve tried.
This Extreme Prescription approach might work as a way to improve.
And I hope it does.
But if it doesnt work, dont be hard on yourself.
Youre trying to improve and thats a noble thing in itself.
Find him on Twitter@mikaelcho.
Illustrations byVictoria MedvedevaviaDerek Sivers.
Top image bySira Anamwong(Shutterstock).
