Theres a lot of vibrator fear-mongering out there, mostly from idiots who are threatened by female sexual empowerment.

Worried that you might get addicted to a vibrator?

Or that your male partners would be intimidated by your vibrator usage?

Vibrators create much more intense stimulation than fingers, tongues, or penises can.

In purchasing your first vibrator, my first recommendation is that you make an investment.

More money typically buys more thoughtful design, a more powerful and durable motor, andbody-safematerials.

You wont regret it.

My favorite vibrator for orgasm newbiesis theMinna Life Limon.

Im also a big fan of the two-pronged design of theCRAVE Duet.

Both theLELO LilyandJeJoue Mimiare pretty straightforward and uncomplicated, while still being high-quality.

I suggest reading reviews online to get more perspectives about your potential purchase.

(BTW,A Roll In The HayandOh Joy Sex Toyare two of my favorite reviewers).

This is going to be fun!

Gently stroke all over your body, and spend some time caressing your labia and clitoris with your fingers.

In short: get your own motor running before you turn on the battery-powered one.

I recommendToy Love by Wicked.

Its a water-based lube (safe for silicone toys!)

that has the same wonderful texture as a silicone lube.

Now, its time to grab your vibrator!

Turn it on to the lowest power setting, and gently touch it to the surface of your clitoris.

For some women, this will feel like hardly anything.

For others, it might feel so intense that you leap off the bed.

Clits vary wildly in their sensitivity, so its best to start super soft.

Or put a towel or blanket between you and your toy, or keep your underwear on.

If you need more intensity, gradually increase the speed configs.

Youre looking for a setting that feels nice and moderate, not like its power-waxing your clitoris.

Play with where you like the vibration, too.

Some women like having the vibe front and center on their clitorises.

Others like more indirect contact, like youre sneaking up on your clitoris instead of pouncing on it.

Compare that to what it feels like when the vibrator is on your clitoris.

Cycle through all of your options, and venture to find the ones that you like best.

If you feel a little baffled about all the options, just stick with the constant vibration pattern.

You may find yourself squirming around a bit underneath the toy; thats natural.

Let your body respond how it wants to respond, and hold on for the ride!

Thats totally cool; do your thing girl.

Your body may have become acclimated to vibration, but those effects will go away after a short break.

There are going to be other women out there who would like to orgasm from a variety of stimulation.

If thats the case for you, just be moderate in your vibrator usage.

A little moderation is all you need!

Have any other questions about masturbation?

Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist (#78931) specializing in sex therapy.

Its her mission to take the intimidation out of sex therapy and bring the fun back into the bedroom.

Have questions about sex?

you might reach her at[email protected], or at VMTherapy.com.

Illustration by Tara Jacoby.